What is a fetish?
Sexologist and psychologist Denyse Renye says there are two definitions to a fetish: either behaviour someone needs to get aroused or, more commonly, a term that describes the sexual arousal and gratification linked to a typically non-sexual object.
Although people tend to use the words “fetish” and “kink” interchangeably, kinks are behaviours or activities outside what would be considered part of “traditional” sex.
1. BDSM
The term BDSM is the grouping of the following categories: Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, Sadism/Masochism.
Consent is vital from the ‘submissive’ to the ‘dominant’ during BDSM as often this usually involves acts of restraint or inflictions of pain. You know you’re good if everyone’s happy and there’s no permanent or extreme damage being done to any person.
Bondage is a very popular form of BDSM, which can include binding your partner with rope or handcuffs. Psychological play using tactics such as humiliation is another very popular fetish branch of BDSM, which implements a power exchange between parties.
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2. GROUP SEX
No surprise, group sex is an incredibly popular kink amongst both men and women. This includes threesomes, orgys, and gangbangs. If you’ve used a dating app, you’ve probably come across an account looking for a ‘third’ but since group sex involves three or more, for people with a group sex fetish, the more the merrier.
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3. VOYEURISM/EXHIBITIONISM
To satisfy their thirst for the forbidden, many people love the idea of voyeurism. The Britannica Encyclopaedia defines it as, “achievement of sexual arousal through viewing the sexual activities of others or through watching others disrobe.” The idea and risk of being caught just adds another element to a voyeur’s excitement.
Similar to voyeurism, exhibitionism is just the flip side and is where people show off their genitals or commit sexual acts while onlookers watch.
4. ROLE PLAY
Just because you’ve grown up doesn’t mean you’ve grown out of playing dress-up and make believe. Role play allows you and your partner to be whoever you want to be whether that means mentally embodying a character, channelling your alter-ego, or dressing up in costume.
This kink often allows people to release their inhibitions and try things they wouldn’t usually do. Some common role play scenarios are: teacher/student, prison guard/prisoner, strangers at a bar, chef/waiter, CEO/employee.
5. LINGERIE
Though part of a wider fetish bracket known as fetish objects, lingerie is the most common fetish object: stockings, panties, bras. Shoes and boots are also very popular, particularly high heels. A person with an object fetish such as lingerie might masturbate while they smell, taste, hold, or rub the object.
6. FOOT FETISH
One of the most popular and well-known fetishes involves a body part not typically considered sexy: feet. When thinking about sexual body parts we tend to lean in to the genitalia, breasts, and butts… but for a lot of people, it’s feet that get their gears going.
Some people are turned on simply by the sight of feet while others may find foot massages, kissing feet or cumming on feet do the trick.
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7. SENSATION PLAY
This can include all kinds of stimuli like spanking, pinching, sensory deprivation, and temperature play.
8. ANAL PLAY
Engaging in anal sex is not a requirement for people with an anal fetish, but of course is definitely a preferred by some. For others, it can mean a finger up the anus or the use of a butt plug during regular intercourse. Just make sure you go heavy on the lube!
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9. PARTNER SHARING AND NON-MONOGAMY
Most commonly in the form of fantasising about being in an open relationship, what separates non-monogamy from the group sex category is that the multiple people involved in the former are not necessarily having sex all together.